Who do I mourn for now?

I talked to Su briefly today, she's doing just fine. "What, am I supposed to be depressed or something?"

She and Zui are still hanging out so she's not losing a friend. I hope that stays the way it is: that the air lets out ALL the way out of the balloon instead of just popping later.

The day right after I broke up with Jared (we had set a date to break up, how sad is that?) was absolutely horrible. I was afraid to go out for fear that I would run into him and find myself in an awkward situation, at the same time, I found myself looking out for him to appear around the corner. I think I ended up working on the jigsaw puzzle our dorm mom had set up in the hallway of the dorms for 5 hours straight until someone reminded me to eat.

Well, guess who I ran into in the cafeteria that evening? We talked and both ended up feeling alot better after; alot less lonely. It was a relief.

That wasn't exactly a sampling of the next few months after that, though. The real pain didn't follow till much later. I guess you really never realize how much you love someone until you've lost them. It's a cliche, I know, but a true one nonetheless.

So I broke up with Mark nearly 2 months ago now. Here comes the tough part. How are you supposed to choose to avoid someone you love with all your heart? Two more months. Two months and I will be back in Hawaii and meeting the man I would have been trying to get over again.

But, hey, on the bright side, Su's doing ok. That's great news! Blah....

I guess I was just looking for someone to feel sorry for over myself.

Maybe I should bring out my jigsaw puzzles tonight.