2004: Charting My Growth.

Our family sends out a newsletter at the end of every year to keep our family and friends updated on the events of our year. In recent years, we've also produced a website for that purpose. This year has been no exception. Su and I were asked to do our own page so that we could be linked to the site. Since I'm still toggling with the pictures and such and it's nearing the close of the year already, I thought I'd give you a sneak preview.

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In last year’s update, I had labeled 2003 as my year of change. While this year saw its fair share of changes, much of it has been spent settling back into the track of steady growth, bringing me closer to becoming the person I will be for the rest of my life.

2004 had a slightly rough take-off. At the very end of last year, there was a sudden change of plans concerning my return to BYU-Hawaii and my education was unexpectedly deferred for just one more semester. Unsure of when I would get to return to school, one of the first things I did with my year was to break up with Mark, who I had been trying to have a long-distance relationship with the entire time I was home. That and the idea of staying back at home while Su (who is a year younger) was in college took a little getting used to. However, it did give me the chance to have my very own bedroom for the first time in my life – something I thought I would not get to do unless my future husband passed away first. That proved to be quite fun!

Switching places with my sister also turned out to be an extremely positive experience for me. While she was able to have her very own BYU-H experience (living mostly out of my shadow for a little while), I took her role as the only daughter at home: something I had never done before, having been the first to leave the nest. As a result, my relationship with Mom developed dramatically and we built a bond that will serve as a foundation for our relationship into the eternities. She no longer is the scary person who gets me to do my homework. She has become my friend.

In hindsight, staying home for just a little longer turned out to be a great blessing. I learned to stop complaining and to start learning. What I had learned was that the Lord had a need for me to be there, not just for my own growth, but for others as well. On top of being able to be there for my family, I was blessed with a wonderful opportunity to serve in my last four months of being home. My mother became the president of the Young Women’s organization at church and extended to me the calling of being her counselor. I don’t think I ever had a calling that I have loved more. We didn’t have many girls – just 4. But what we didn’t have in quantity, they made up for in quality. From that calling, I learned to have a deep Christ-like love and concern for others. I learned to really look at those girls just as Heavenly Father would: beautiful daughters of God who have the potential to become goddesses in the eternities. I came to be their friend and our relationship extended beyond Sunday. If they didn’t learn a thing from the lessons I taught each Sunday, I definitely learned from their examples. Being able to work closely with my mother in such a spiritual capacity opened my eyes to her strength and added to my appreciation for her. That was definitely a huge growing experience for me.

In April, the path cleared for me to return to college, closing one chapter of my life and resuming another. BYU-Hawaii was about just as I had left it, except that this time, my sister was there with me. I made many new friends and Mark and I started dating again.

Returning on the IWES scholarship this time, I was able to work at the Polynesian Cultural Center to pay for my education. Inspired by the wonderful things I’d heard about Su’s job through her, I followed her lead and applied to be a tour guide at the PCC. I got hired, of course, and am still a tour guide now and plan to be for a little while. It has been some of the most fun I’ve ever had in a job. Giving guided tours and interacting with guests daily on a more personal level suits me perfectly. I love making a difference in their day and being able to work in an environment where I need to be cheerful at all times. Work still has the tendency to be the highlight of my day. The grounds are so beautiful; I get to wear a pretty dress, flip-flops, and a flower in my ear to work everyday. What more can I ask? I have also learned a lot of Polynesia through being a guide and it has increased my love for the islands 100-fold. On top of that, I have made so very many friends through working with all the other students. It has been culturally enlightening and all in all, just plain fun!

Apparently, I have been doing an alright job. One of my guests wrote in once to thank the employees of the PCC (including me, their tour guide) for the wonderful time they had. As a result, I was highlighted in a recent edition of the “Imua” the center’s bi-monthly newsletter. What an honor that was.

On the educational front, I have been taking more and more major (Psychology) and minor (Music) related classes. Declaring music as a minor was one the best decisions I’ve ever made on my own. This Fall, I took up lessons on the piano again, theory classes and even a class on conducting. It has felt really good to develop my potential and skills in that discipline. I nearly forgot what a big part music had been in my life. Taking upper-level Psychology classes has also reaffirmed my choice of careers. I have loved every minute of learning and education here.

Extra-curricular activities have kept me really busy throughout the school year. I was given a little part in the school play “Sorry, Wrong Number” during the spring and amazingly cast as the lead in the campus movie that term “Shadows”. The acting experience it gave me was definitely encouraging. I also joined the Swing Club and swing-dancing has become one of my greatest passions. Ah, college life has been simply wonderful!

College-social-life brought just a little bit of drama towards the end of Summer when Mark was accepted into the University of Utah and decided to transfer there because of their better pre-med program. Breaking up with him again wasn’t easy, but I have since learned to settle into single-dom and have definitely learned to love it. I am now more sure of what I want and have become stronger and wiser, I hope. Recent events have also promised the possibility of romance in the near future. It’s been a very exciting period in my life.

This year also saw my first Christmas away from home. I was nervous about being lonely and disappointed, but it turned out to be a blast. We definitely reaped the blessings from all those years of inviting singles into our home for Christmas. We were invited to more homes on Christmas day than we could go to. Church members and our work made sure that we all had a great experience. While I missed family, having Su here and being around many others who were going through the same experience helped. Heavenly Father certainly has watched over us both this year.

Perhaps one of the biggest and most life-altering events that happened to me this year began right at the start of the year: blogging. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a blog or web log is “an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page.”

During a period of personal trial and angst while home in Malaysia, I found a wonderful release in writing. In allowing me to freely express my thoughts and feelings, my blog became a tool to understanding myself more completely and helped me focus on the brighter things in life. The side effects were wonderful: I gained hands-on experience with HTML and JavaScript (both of which I had limited knowledge of before), made friends with many other bloggers who, through their individual experiences, taught me much about life. Perhaps one of the greatest rewards I have from blogging has been that this year of my life has been well documented (for the most part). Through reading old posts, I have been able to observe my own growth through both the struggles and the fun times I’ve had all year. I am sure that I will appreciate this insightful view of my pre-adulthood years when I am older.

This year has been full of its ups and downs, laughter and tears, blogging and learning. I stepped out of the threshold of teenage-hood and into the grey-area of 20. Life this year has taught me charity, patience, faith in the bigger picture and the importance of constantly having a positive outlook on life. All in all, it’s been a wonderful year. Given the opportunity, I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. As 2005 quickly approaches, I hope I have come just a few steps closer to becoming the woman I can be