Current affairs.

I suppose I should be sleeping, but having just drunk half a bottle LiveWire, and realizing that this blog has been lacking real posts, I think I can afford to sit and think about myself for just a little bit. Maybe write a few things down too.

First day of school was today. Didn't make it to any of my classes because as of this morning I had none. I spent my day standing in line, clearing restrictions so I could register. Then home on my computer clicking refresh on my browser every 3 minutes to see if they'd cleared it. I ended up having to call the office an hour after they should have been closed to follow up. I got lucky - someone in Hawaii was actually in their office later than 4.45pm! She definitely has my respect now. I think I'll drop off some chocolates or something in her office someday. So now I'm partially registered. Tomorrow = more standing in line trying to add classes.

This semester looks good. Determined to be a super student. Get my GPA above the shameful mark. Very thrilled about my Psycho Therapy class. I love my major. I love school. I just need to learn to work.

On the social front, I'm very excited to have all my friends back again. We haven't really done a whole lot together, yet. Hopefully Dead Poet Society will have more than 3 people tomorrow. (BTW, it's 8.30pm, Thursday, meet by the bus stop, bring a dead poet work)

I suppose I might as well talk a little about the highlight of my life at this point. It's not meant to be a secret. I'm just unsure of how to talk about it and reluctant to make this blog some empty mushy crush vent like I have been in the habit of doing. However, it would be unfair and almost dishonest not to at least mention it periodically on here, especially it has been a substantial part of much pondering, prayer, day-dreaming.

Yes, I'm referring to quasi-boyfriend.

While I have been hoping that I would in true Faye style, get bored, distracted, or change my mind and move on, neither has happened, and quite to the contrary, I find myself sucked deeper and deeper into this. Part of my reluctance to blog about this is because I know many of my friends read this. I would like to keep this as much in the background as possible so it doesn't interfere with the course of my social life over here. Such a paradox.

I don't know how this is supposed to work out. I am half hoping that this semester I am going to meet somebody wonderful in all the same ways here, be swept off my feet and drop this entire fantasy. At the same time, the thought terrifies me because I want to hang on to this dream and see it come true. Aaaah. Don't know what to think. Don't know how to feel.

In the meantime, this creates a wonderful phase for Faye in Hawaii. A phase of serious self-improvement. I am very much at peace with the world right now, strangely. Not completely satisfied with the person I've become, but seeing a bright new future. Weeding things out one by one. All of the sudden, I just want to be the most wonderful person I can be. That's a good thing. I just wish I could get rid of all this impatience, yearning and feelings of helplessness.

Maybe this simply fits into my desire for some sort of storybook romance. I enjoy feeling whatever it is this makes me feel. There's just so much that I don't understand right now. Too much that I want to think about but just don't know how or if I should. Too much I can't seem to put in words.

I guess I shouldn't try then. Here's to a brand new semester, a brand new year, and a better me.