Bring it on, baby!

(Or is that bring the baby on?)

I babysat the Whitakers again tonight. I know this will sound silly: I miss out on Institute every week for it which means I don’t get to see the other single adults as often as they get to see each other, but I still look forward to it every week. Baby sitting is the highlight of my week.

There are 6 kids. I usually only deal with 5 since the eldest, Zach, is nearly 17 and was their baby sitter (for some reason he got “sacked” – siblings don’t make good baby-sitters. I’m the big sister, I’d know). Sometimes he’s home when I’m there, and that’s VERY awkward. He might be a little bitter towards me. He’s still cool and he can be a great help. I don’t know if that’s like a “this is my family, let ME do it” or a “I can do it better than you” or maybe “Here, you look like you need help” kind of thing. But it can be really nice. Like maybe in an ideal family setting where there are TWO parents.

Oh, I love it. It’s like a motherhood internship.

I get the kids fed (we order McDonalds on Friday so that’s easy, but I have had to cook for them before), resolve arguments, change diapers, give them baths, approve or disapprove of movies, gather them for family prayer, reprimand Jasmine their ADORABLE cocker spaniel for digging in their trash again, read them bedtime stories (and teach them how to read), tuck them in, kiss them goodnight, and sing Eli a couple of lullabies. I even get to stand in the doorway with my arms folded and shake my head when they get up and start playing after they think I’m gone.

I get to talk to Rachel (she’s 12. Chinese adopted into an American family) about school. And the girls that tease her and say mean things about her. And how she doesn’t like her nose (she has a slightly disfigured face. I actually don’t know why) and how she wishes people would stop asking about it. Or how she doesn’t like being the only girl in the family because she doesn’t act like a girl around her friends. Mom and I were talking about her and how she has to deal with being neither American nor Asian, and neither a girl nor a boy. (I mean, not LITERALLY!) But I get to be there for Rachel and love her and really be concerned for her and encourage her. Give her advice. Help her control her temper with her brothers. Like I would if she was my own child.

If Zach isn’t there and the kids aren’t misbehaving, I sometimes put the dishes into the dish washer for him. Or like today, both Jeff and Zach were out so all the kids were in bed before their parents were home (older kids have a later bedtime) and I had the house to myself for a little while.

It’s at moments like these when I think, “I can so do this!” I’m ready for my own family! What’s the hangup?!

I do realize how doing this full time isn’t cool or fun. And there’s a lot more to it than what I get babysitting once a week. But sometimes, I really feel like I’m more prepared to be a mother than a lot of mothers are!

And then I remember all the issues I’m dealing with and my lack of wisdom and maturity (maturity –what’s that?!) and my irresponsibility (I feel sorry for my dad, he took our office apart and raised his voice. I really wasn’t on top of things today. I deserved that one.)

Maybe one day, I’ll get to have a family of my own. Children who will call me Mom instead of “Sister Faye” or “Jie Jie” (that means big sister in Chinese – my brothers call me that) I hope I won’t be over-confident when I do.

It just seems so old-fashioned of me to want something like that so much. I mean, it’s almost a sad thing to wish for. But that’s me. That’s what I’ve always wanted.

I’m only growing older everyday and closer and closer to achieving my lifelong dream. I just better hurry and get myself prepared!

Not what the average teenager blogs about huh?

Well, I’ve never claimed to be average – nor tried to be.