For those of you who asked.

I'm not in Hawaii now because I couldn't afford school. US currency is 3.8 times ours. That's HUGE. My appeals for the IWES scholarship - the one all the other Asians were on - was denied repeatedly.

So I came home in July after 10 months in Hawaii and started appealing for the scholarship from home. It took a long time to convince them we REALLY couldn't afford school (the idiots gave the scholarship to my sister but not me!), but thing was finally smoothened out and I got accepted for the Winter, where my sister was already going; found out at the very last minute.

And then, my parents changed their mind about letting me go for the winter.

I had showed nothing but irresponsibility to my parents and they decided I wasn't ready for that kind of freedom again. Not to mention that my last semester there, I had extra-ordinarily TERRIBLE grades (it's really bad for me to flunk a class because I am capable of getting A's in all of them) because I was dealing with a breakup.

And then there were some moral issues that I will not mention here. Ms. Molly Mormon Faye ain't so perfect after all.

So, they want me to be emotionally independant and responsible. For me to earn my freedom so to speak. The painful part is that they made that decision just 3 days before I was going to leave. It was just a threat at first over something stupid - I didn't clean up my room like my mom had asked me to because I was on the computer.

And when I did, I was talking on the phone with Mark when they told me to hung up. It was my defiance that got them. I just never learn my lesson huh?

Anyway, they were dead serious about not letting me go. I had said bye to alot of people already. And even after they told me, I still packed till the night before. It kept me sane. And I was in denial anyway.

When they finally sat me down and told me that my ticket was cancelled, I think I seriously went crazy. For a moment. I was so mad at them for doing something like that. I kind of still am. Especially when I think about it. *fuming*

Now I see that it wasn't over something stupid, though. I get the bigger picture. I hate to admit that they did a good thing. But they did. Not a nice thing, but it was for my good. It still isn't fair that they didn't say anything about their uncertainty till the last minute. But life has been unfair in my favor before. I think I can take a little punishment for my disobedience.

I felt better once I realized that mom had asked if there was any way they could change their mind. I suppose keeping me here is harder than letting me go and letting me screw my life up. But they don't want to be held accountable for my screw-upedness. So they are giving me more time here to "fix" me and make me normal (forgive me, the bitterness is emerging)

So I'm still here. My major is psychology. I don't know what I want to do with that yet, but I love it. Maybe I'll get to counsel whacked up psychos like myself. Fun stuff!!! My minor is in music. Just as an excuse to take all the fun classes like Choir and stuff.

I LOVE school and miss it to pieces. I just got accepted for the Spring term in April. I'm trying hard not to screw up too much so I don't get deterred again.

What the deal is with Mark and I? How about I let you know when I figure it out, ok? loL!