The first shall be the last and vice versa.

My breakup recovery theory.

In the course of my lengthy conversation with Lyanne, I came to this conclusion – the “victim” in the breakup recovers first (or at least on the surface anyway).

I know it’s a generalization, but think it is mostly because the hurt and confusion forces one to deal with it and/or move on to something else. They have to do something to gain control in the situation and not remain the helpless victim.

The person who initiated the breakup will often look back in regret, second guess it, and sometimes even try to take it back. There’s a kind of reassurance that comes from being the one to call it; being the one in control – as if the decision was reversible. It’s after the ex moves on when they realize that their safety net has been taken away and their time of serious confusion begins.

I’m just speaking from observation – with a little experience on the side.

Neither position is any easier or any less painful.

*sigh* I hope I will never have to deal with another breakup again. Ever.