And then one day, it clicked!

Nevermind all the other negative things I think about Dad everytime I have to be around him now. I will not acknowledge those thoughts here so as not to feed my anger and resentment towards him. I don't want to be ingrateful - nor turn into a lesbian that hates all men or something. No, the seperation has nothing to do with this.

Although, on a side note, Dad technically moves out today. He is at home packing his bags as I speak. I think he just found a room/apartment in this building. I don't know which I'm upset about more, that he is moving out and that we can't expect to have him come home at night anymore or that he will be so close to the office and will be able to stop by at unpredictable times.

This is conflicting. I am doing everything I can to avoid my Dad and at the same time wishing for him to stay home so we can see more of him. Well, at least I know I love him. Like is the next thing to work on.

Back to what I intended to post about: I finally figured out what it is that I've been struggling with lately. All these issues with my Dad and not wanting to work for him etc. This started way before this whole nightmare began and I just figured it out today. I realize now that I'm really only dealing with a generic teenager issue: I just really wish that my Dad would be proud of me.
Simply that he would see me as more than a failure, or a major repair project.

And I thought that I was going through unique problems this whole time.

The one good thing about this separation is that my parents no longer need to argue. No, no. Instead, my Dad yells at me.

All I know is that I need a Dad, not a boss. And Mom needs a husband, not a therapist.