In prevention of a blog drought

I thought I'd better post something since Emily pointed out how I hadn't posted since I advertised "The Caf". I told her how I just didn't have much to blog about. I haven't felt inspired.

I did post a really long blog on The Caf though, a post about kissing entitled "Peaches, Plums, and/or Alfalfa". Ever since then I've been obsessed with reading all the comments people have left regarding that and all the other posts that have been contributed by others. I'm sorry, I don't mean to neglect this.

I'm not exactly sure why I haven't had the desire to blog about me lately. It's not that I have nothing to talk about. I suppose if I really wanted to, I could tell you about how on Tuesday, I was curious as to what my blog was like contentwise a few months ago so I read through some of the posts I wrote in August and September and was reminded of the whole drama of Mark leaving.

Ever cry for yourself? I did. I felt sorry for me, not now, but for the me I was then. It felt good, but it also pulled me back to that time emotionally just a little bit. Being single without a guy to turn my focus on is difficult for me. I've turned it to blogging instead. But every once in a while the void pulls me back to Mark just a little. The feelings of bitterness come back. I remember being angry at everyone that day. Angry at Mark, angry at Richie... mostly I think I was just angry at myself for still looking back so much.

Mark, by the way, is doing wonderful. He finally got the courage to ask the girl he was interested in on a date, and it went well. I'm very excited for him, despite what you may think. It isn't the most wonderful thing in the world to lose your place in someone's heart, but he hasn't had many friends since he moved. I'd much rather him be happy than loving me and lonely. I suppose it's easier because in my mind, I've already lost him and I don't have to go through the emotions of losing him all over again. In a way, I also want this to work about because then I would feel justified in giving him up. She sounds like a wonderful person who has much more in common with Mark than I ever did. I hope this actually goes somewhere. I really do.

Of course, my first choice would be to have him with me here still so I could be his and he could be mine. But since that is no longer an option, I think this is a very optimal second choice. My turn will come soon. In the meantime, I'll borrow his excitement and his happiness.

I suppose I could also tell you how I helped Glenn film the movie again on Wednesday night. I've been helping him one or two days everyweek out of the semester, since I was in the last movie, I didn't get casted into this one, but I wanted to be involved so I volunteered to help. I do little things like help move the lights, manage the props, but my mostly I take pictures for Glenn to post online here. I don't really need to be there, so it gets boring sometimes, although on that night we filmed shooting (we got to use blanks!) and blood. It was cool. That and I discovered the prop stash...


"Hey Glenn, can I borrow these for my honeymoon?"

Yeah, I had fun.

If I was in the mood, I could also have told you of how I gave Shem a soapbox for his birthday on Thursday. It's funny if you know Shem. It was my idea, but Jared helped me obtain the materials (I was unsucessful) then helped me put it together with Jolley. Carrera saved us with her duct-tape. The whole idea would have fallen apart without her. Literally. We had cut up a large box to fold around the crate we found so it was sturdy enough to stand on, but still box-like and I wrote a huge "SOAP" on one side. I don't know what Shem thought of the gift, but he was cool enough to step on it to let me take a picture.


Shem preaching about something I wasn't paying attention to because I was trying to get my camera to work. He was waving around the Nerds Rope I gave him in one hand and in the other the 3 bars of soap (in boxes, just in case!) from me, and the shaving cream from Jared.
This is how I want to always remember Shem.

We went to Temple beach that night, intending to have a bonfire, but we just sat around in the dark till slightly past 1am listening to Shem serenade us with song after song on his guitar. The sky was clear that night and the moon was behind us so the stars were out and clear. We saw a good number of shooting stars. I am going to miss that so much if I ever manage to get dragged away from this place again. Breathtaking.


Look at what poor college students have to do when they're not on the meal plan... Hehe. Justin caught those crabs and then let them go right where we were. One crawled over my foot. *shudder*



Shem and his girl-heart-stealing-machine making beautiful music. He's wearing the headband I wove for him on the way to the beach. Coconut leaves are awesome things!



The serenading must've worked or something. At one point, there were 4 of us giving him a massage at the same time. Why didn't I get that on my birthday?


If I didn't blog about that, I could've blogged about how I got to watch "THE INCREDIBLES" on Friday. Holy heck that was a cool movie! I loved every minute of it. I didn't go to see it with most of my friends last week because Vasu and some of his friends (one of which I thought was really cute) were seing it this weekend, so I waited. As a result, half of us that went to the theater saw Polar Express instead. So did the cute guy! Oh well. The Incredibles was worth it.

Speaking of cute guys, there's been some excitement going on at work. I suppose I could tell you about that too. Remember the friend I went on a date with not too long ago? Well, Tonu'd been coming up to me with little tit-bits like "Someone who works here thinks your cute." or "Do you have a boyfriend?" and then "Would you go on a date with a friend if he asked you?" There's someone I work with who's interested in me, I knew it wasn't Tonu because he and I are just friends who flirt alot and he wouldn't speak so vaguely if it was him anyway. It's someone else he knows.

I hung out with the Canoe Boys at work again on Friday, and the lead, Veni (who happens to be in my ward at for church as well) said that one of "his boys" was interested in me and has been asking everyone about me. I just laughed about it and said he could've just come to me. Veni volunteered his name without me asking. I don't really know this guy very well at all, in fact, I was thinking that it was another one of the Canoe boys. I don't know this guy much at all, so I don't know what I think about him. Still, having a near stranger pick me out is very flattering. Makes me wonder what it is about me he's noticed. Where I do have days when I feel really beautiful, and I do consider myself physically attractive, I know that I'm no super model and there are plenty who think of me as average-looking.

It's a nice idea to have someone notice you just for the way you look, but I'd very much rather someone be struck by my awesome personality because that's where I put most of my focus. I want my looks to be a plus, although still as great as my personality. The fact is though, that I can improve on more than I can the other I put more emphasis on what I have more control over. I don't think this is a potential boyfriend or anything, but I'm enjoying this for now.

On a side note, I still have not been asked to Fall Ball. I don't want to keep bringing it up because I don't want to sound like I'm hinting to be asked. I'm not. It'd be nice to get asked, and yes, I would like to go, but I don't want someone to ask me just because I wanted to be asked.

Anyway, my sister needed a dress so she came over and I lent her one that I had bought while home in Malaysia (it's cheaper there). I've never worn it before, but I really don't care about that. Small kine. She tried the dress on, and for fun, I put on the other nice dress that I have. The one I lent to her last ball (I was home in Malaysia then but the dress wasn't) and to another girl the winter ball a year before that, I haven't gotten to wear that one yet either. It made me really want an excuse to wear it, but I will have to wait. I really don't mind lending it out to other people because then the dress is good for something even if I never go to a ball ever again. I spent very little money on both dresses so I'm not worried. It makes me feel noble anyway.

Since I'm on a roll with blogging now, I might as well tell you about today. Su and I went to watch The Broadway Cabaret performance together tonight. It was amazing and left us both thoroughly jealous afterwards. When we were younger, the few exposures we had to broadway were through The Young Ambassadors from BYU. We fell in love with them and from then on, we decided that we wanted to be one of them when we grew up. Well, at some point, years later, I finally realized that I could neither sing, dance, nor act so I gave up on the idea. My sister didn't. She's planning to transfer to BYU soon and try to get into their Music, Dance and Theater program. Regretfully, she has no voice training still, but she is a theater major while she is here, taking alot of acting classes (strangely, she's still never been in a play/movie before while I have been in a couple) and is very involved with dance (the gymnastics helps).

Watching the Broadway Cabaret was different from watching the Young Ambassadors because I knew all of the people involved but 2 or 3 of them. When we were younger, we idolized those amazing singers and actors. Today, we see that they are people like us with amazing talent. I still wish I could sing like that. Oh. I covet their voices. And I would kill to marry someone wonderful who can perform like that. The only problem is that they always date among themselves. It's like a criteria to marry someone as good as you when it comes to artistic talent. I'm nowhere near close to where they are.

Thankfully, I haven't been completely stripped of musical talent. I play the piano. I can be good when I actually practise. I was told by Dr. Bradford in conducting that I am very talented at that. I have alot of respect for him, so that is a huge compliment. Speaking of which, I have a test on Monday for conducting. I'm so nervous about that. One of the Hymns I chose was 197 "O Savior Thou Who Wearest A Crown", a hymn I've come to love through Mark. Dr. Bradford was pleased that I chose a tune by Bach. I had no idea.

Speaking of talent, the Singapore Malaysia and Vietnamese club had a talent show today. It consisted of the same 5 people going up and performing as groups and as individuals a couple of times a piece. All musical. It was a very interesting talent show. Su and I were planning on doing something non-musical like a skit or something, but with lack of preparation, it didn't come through. (Crap, why didn't I think of Magic?!) Instead, I got pulled into a performance with Su and Kheng Saik. Tanielle was supposed to play with them but because they changed the day of the Talent Show, she had to work and couldn't make it. Tanielle plays the violin.

In case you didn't know, I took about a year's worth of lessons on the violin before leaving for Hawaii the first time. Since leaving for college 2 years ago, I've touched a violin 3 times total. Tanielle lent me her violin and I had a couple of hours to practice with Su. I still remembered how to play, I just sucked at it. We managed to perform somehow. Kheng Saik and Su played beautifully but I screeched and fumbled.


A "talent" show you say?


Did you check out that look on my face? I'm not used to being unskilled. I take pride in being good at what I do: violin is not one of them yet. It was horrible. I felt sorry for Su and Kheng Saik - I hope I didn't butcher their performance too much. I felt so much more pressure performing after a great show by the Cabaret. Never again!

We left the talent show early (they were just stretching it unnecessarily anyway) and went to a get together in David's house in Haula. Played 2 rounds of Mafia. I got to be the only surviving Mafia the first time, (I've had alot of practice with lying) but the second time around, I was the last of the detectives to get killed - just when I was going to nail the murderers too! It was good fun though.

When we were ready to go home, the van wouldn't start! We got out the jumper cables and it was funny observing how the guys had no idea how to jumpstart a car. It ended up being just an anti-theft button thing we didn't think to turn. Hah. We felt pretty smart afterwards. It still made for some fun pictures though.


Yes, these are the people I spend my time with everyday...

So there you have it, I blogged about my week, thinking that I had nothing to blog about. Chris Rusch said that the requirement for a good post is that it be short. Well, I don't know what a good blog is then. This long post probably did not interest you in the least, but having recorded all of the fun things I got to do this week has left me grateful for the friends I have. They really do make my experience here a great one.

[happy sigh]

The great thing about long blogs is that you may start off kind of sad, but if you keep writing for a few more hours, your mood changes and you end up with a happy post in the end.