My workplace is a magnet for weirdos.

To start with, there's me and Anthony.

My dad is almost running a charity. He's hired about every church member that has been jobless before and many who were incapable of holding any other job. Training is our focus and this is his own private lab. He thinks of it as a springboard to the corporate world. It's true. My dad is a pretty good boss and he really has trained up some really good leaders. He's a businessman, so ultimately, he doesn't just hand out free lunches but his flexibility sure has attracted some pretty uh, interesting people.

I'm going to try to be as tactful as I can because alot of you who read this know who I'm talking about... I'll try to be nice.

Like there's this one guy, Kong. I doubt that he's ever been hired here but my Dad has tried to help him. He struggles with some sort of mental illness. I don't know what it is, but you will be able to tell at a glance. He stares blankly, his speech slurrs and he has some pretty interesting ideas. He comes by at unexpected times to play chess with himself (ok, that's not as weird as it sounds - he has books and memorizes all the names of all kinds of moves) until Anthony takes some time to play with him. If not, Anthony will have to talk him out of giving his newly inherited house to his pastor or explain that his family is not of the devil or something. Interesting stuff.

Last year, my Dad hired an old friend of our family's - who he has been trying to help for years and years - to work here at the office. I've mentioned him before towards the end of this blog.

David isn't retarded. He is a really smart guy and has a really big heart. I kid you not - he is just a really nice guy. He was unfortunate to have a disease mess up his nervous system and so he would twitch and he is known as the guy with his head tilted to one side.

Also unfortunate for him, I don't really like him much. I don't hate him or anything, I just like it better when he's not around. He makes me feel uncomfortable. The disease, as bad as it was, really isn't the reason. Even before, he just wasn't normal. Just really overbearing: tried to hard, talked too much - you know the kind.

Imagine my delight when my dad offered him a job here. I had to train him to use the payroll software program that I do customer service for. He knew nothing of computers and his lack of control over his limbs didn't help him any with using the mouse. He actually learned alot quicker than Anthony did, I admit. He surpassed my expectations.

My dad was in the US at that time. He basically hired David and left him to us. It was a nightmare! It bugged me that David didn't dress properly. His shirt is always tucked out or tucked in the front and his protuding belly made a little opening in his shirts down by his belly button. His hair was unkept, his pants and sleeves rolled up unevenly. He looked and smelled homeless.

You could feel sorry for someone who can't afford to dress nice - but he's no poor kid. He's this 40 year old with the mentality of a 19 year old who lived with his parents. His dad is a retired judge. They are wealthy.

He had a problem with budgeting. My dad found him a place to stay with super cheap rent at my granddad's apartment just a few floors above this office. I managed his payroll. He asked for advances quite a few times and I eventually helped him to work out his finances. All of us lent him money at one point or another. I insited on getting the little I lent him back. Strange. That was really mean - I never do that. But I was in need of money then too.

See, I felt sorry because he earned so little. But we were paying him to come to work and be trained. And if he was careful, he could have had enough to last him through the month. It irked me that he was eating at expensive places and blowing his money on other things that I don't want to know about and blaming us later for not paying him enough.

And then there were his ideas. He's Mormon like the rest of us, but he's gay. He is addicted to coffee (and who knows what else) and openly admits it. You know, you can do whatever you want with your life, that's fine, but it really bugged me that he would tell us to repent. That you don't have to live the same rules we live by and you're a better Mormon. (See, there's my pride right there) He claims of having seen Jesus after he met with some accident and Jesus told him that it was ok for him to drink or something to that effect. He has told everyone he's met about how Jesus saved him from the Devil.

You know what really bothered me the most was something really trivial. I could've just laughed about everything else - it didn't have to do with me. But I like being alone. I come into the office by 7.30 every morning and I love the quiet. At that period, I spent those minutes talking to Mark. We both liked the privacy we had while talking. But David would come in at 8am!!! Work doesn't start till 9am. The worst part? He would come in and head STRAIGHT for the couch. HELLO - your bed is UPSTAIRS! Stay there till it's time for work! And don't lean over my shoulder and eavesdrop when I'm talking to Mark. Especially when I'm kavetching about you! loL!

I'm usually pretty tactful, but he got the better of me and I had to snap at him a couple of times for it.

Also, there's a room with a couch here in the office which I take naps on frequently. Dad's cool about stuff like that. It just bugged me when David would ALWAYS be on it.

In the mornings when I wasn't talking to Mark, sometimes I'd be napping on the couch. I keep the door to the office locked so I have to open it for Anthony and whoever when they come to work. On numerous occasions, I woke up from my nap fully intending to return to it again after opening the door for David, but I held the door open for a minute too long only to find that he had headed STRAIGHT for the couch. I was fuming.

Ahah - see, it's not because I looked down on him that I dislike him, it's because he totally crossed into my territory.

After nearly 2 months of dreading to come to work in the mornings, David broke the shocking news to us that he was resigning - he had found another job! Wow. I was amazed. He was going to sell encyclopedias. You can imagine how overjoyed I was.

Yet, I felt so very sorry for him. I was baffled at how he got someone to hire him but I figured it'd be good for him to finally get a whooping in the real working world where people don't take naps every 10 minutes.

The day he was to start his new job, he came bursting into the office - in true David style - announcing that he had changed his mind about the job and was looking for another one or else return to his hometown, back to his parents.

I don't know what happened at the job, but I'm willing to bet my digital camera budget that he didn't change his mind - someone changed their mind about him.

And STILL he would come into the office after he quit to visit us, use the phones (long distance) and take naps. One day, he burst in all excited that he had met Jesus again!!! It was while he was walking on the street and Jesus was in shorts and a T-shirt. I don't remember what Jesus told him this time, but Anthony and I pretty much ignored him as he went on and on talking about it. He made a few phonecalls and told other church members ALL about it. I felt so sorry for them.

David's not dumb. He caught on to the fact that we were smiling to ourselves and really didn't believed him. He got really angry, told us we need to repent and cursed us, and threatened to stop praying for Anthony's son, Elisha who is currently a missionary in Utah before bursting out of the office in anger.

That kind of scared Anthony. The curse thing. He and I talked about it and were trying to work out what to believe. David pointed out that if it wasn't true - why was his neck straightened? Good point. He's not a liar. I know he doesn't make the stuff up for attention. So if anything, the vision was real to him. I mentioned it to Dad over Yahoo and Dad said simply that David sometimes has hallucinations. He's amazing. He listens to David, doesn't ridicule him and even encourages David to write it down. I should learn a thing or two from my Dad.

Eventually, David had to leave the city to his hometown. He stopped by here just before he left and told us that he was going to apply for handicap welfare and go into business with his "friend". I really felt worried for him. He is so trusting, he could be swindled into anything.

I look back now and see that I was REALLY mean to him. I don't like what I learned about myself while he was around.

Why did I write about this today? Well, guess who BURST into the office this morning? *grin* Uhuh. My dad was here working all night and was sleeping on the couch with the door locked when we woke him up so David could talk to him. Poor dad.

I don't know what they talked about. I just know that Dad didn't offer David a job again (I have a hunch David was looking for some help) and that's good enough for me. Dad was kind of upset that David left us just like that as we were training him up and giving him skills he could use. He even said that David was not ready for a regular job. He only helps people who helps themselves (besides me, apparently) and I guess that was it.

The funniest part? I just had to laugh. He came back later this evening because he needed a place to go. I had been taking a nap, and it was just like old times. Hehehe. I was nice to him today though. I feel really bad about how I treated him last time. He even sensed that I didn't like him and that's not good.

Still, I hope that the friend he's meeting shows up tonight and hooks him up with a place to stay like he promised because if he doesn't, our door is always open and I will have to sleep early tonight to avoid a lengthly conversation about Jesus with David.