The definition of "a train wreck" is...

...me singing the finale to our Easter program (an SATB arrangement of "I Stand All Amazed") SOLO (but high enough for you to hear me screech) and having the congregation join in a verse early.

The original intention was for them to join in at the 4th verse - which was additional (written specially for the arrangement) but there was some miscommunication and the program said "Congregation to join in last verse" but NO additional lyrics were printed! AUGH!

So instead, before I sang, I informed them that I was going to sing four verses and asked them to join in with me in the last CHORUS. Apparently it just didn't stick with a couple of people and they started bellowing "I THINK OF HIS HANDS PIERCED AND BLEEDING TO PAY THE DEBT..." after I was done with the second chorus.

Ok. Sure. Fine. Whatever you want. [scowl] If you want to ruin my song that's fine with me...

So I step away from the microphone and let them join in. But instead of going to the chorus, the music surprises them and goes into the 4th stanza - AND THEY DON'T KNOW THE WORDS!

Baffled looks all around. I TOLD YOU! "Join me in the last chorus" I said - but did they listen? No.... Haha. Embarass yourselves will ya, but don't forget to drag me along with you. Bah

Well, thankfully or otherwise, I had printed out the additional lyrics in the program outline with the narration which was handed out to the youth (they were the ones narrating. We have some lysdexic kids so you can imagine how that went) and, bless them, they brought out their copies and sang along with me as loud as they could, pulling the rest of the congregation along with them.

And then there was me. Wondering if I should lead the congregation by singing into the mic, or choristering, or just stepping out of the picture. I ended up trying to do a little bit of each. Except the choristering. It was just too awkward.

On the bright side, I could look at it as though the congregation were so into the message of my hymn that they just burst out in song along with me, i.e. I inspired them. Go me!

We were supposed to end right then and there (we were already 15 minutes overtime), but someone in the branch presidency didn't get the memo and we sang one verse of a closing hymn which was completely random. Oh well.

On the whole, it was a great Sunday. No sarcasm involved there. Rachel choristered for the very first time and she did WONDERFUL. She would go up to the pulpit and as I played the introduction, ask her Dad what what conducting pattern to use and she was almost always on beat - which all the older, more experienced Youg Women still struggle to do. This is a 13 year old in 12th grade with special needs - I just can't express what an amazing feat that was. I'm just extremely bursting with pride, kinda like a hot dog in a frying pan...

We had assigned people to bear their testimonies on different subjects and they were all amazingly concise, precise and very insightful. The other singers did a really nice job: the Elders sang on pitch (yay!), the 2 other women had spectacular voices - one of which had only a day's notice - my brothers were like angels singing "Easter Hosanna", Mom broke down and bawled the end of "Jesus Was No Ordinary Man" but it was beautiful. She didn't stop crying throughout the meeting after that. If no one else felt the spirit, it was certainly worth going through all that last minute planning for her alone.

I am sad to admit that I was so stressed the entire time that it was hard for me to focus on the message of the program I had prepared. The children were extra noisy that day but I did get close to tears a couple of times. It's ok. I already got the point of my message while preparing it.

I got some mad probs for my song from a couple of people, but it's church: compliments from there are great ego boosters but they carry little worth. It was nice to hear though. Am I bragging by blogging about Malathi (whose voice I would kill for) telling me how she admired my voice? She mentioned something about a strong voice and being a pop singer. Flattering, but untrue. She put in the word "unique" for a reason. lol. No, I'm not just trying to shed praise. I would admit it if I were that good. But I listen to myself sing, so I would know. It's like a cross between Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and William Hung. When I figure out how, I might give you a sampling of my voice - accompanied by me on the piano - and you can judge for yourselves.

I really still feel like I ruined the whole meeting but I'll live. Some good did come out of it... I think.

Granted, I was only able to rehearse it once with a pianist (Bro. Cragun was awesome, he helped me change the arrangement so the congregation could join in) and I had played for myself AND sung to practice the week before. So I didn't do either very well -- but I'll beat you at them both together!

Stiil, I shall NEVER attempt such a huge rush job again. EVER. And I will sing somewhere in the middle with someone else if I ever gather the courage to display my vocal disabilities in public ever again.

And that, my dear fans, was my version of the movie "Two Weeks Notice", plagiarized, produced, arranged, directed, and wrecked by moir.

All other Mormon Sunday Services are alot more organized than that - I swear!