Over Achiever Wannabe.

That's what I am this semester. Let's see how long I can keep it up for. Right now, I'm enrolled for 18 credits and I am loving every single one of my classes save one. Ironically, it's a math class that I loathe for not being math.

Math 106: Math Reasoning, Problem-solving and Application.

"Designed to assist students in developing quantitative analytical, and logical reasoning skills; in cultivating problem-solving strategies; and understanding the usefulness of mathematics through applications. The content shall include but need not be limited to: logic, sets, probability, statistics, and the elementary applications of higher mathematics."

Which is the long way of saying that they'll give me 4 credits for re-learning what I did in the 4th grade. Gah. Give me algebra, trigonometry. Numbers, equations, graphs, MATH! A language I speak!!! Don't ask stupid questions like "What is a unit?" "Describe how the currency conversion table is read". What the heck? It's insulting and degrading to have to sit through that.

Why am I taking the class? I thought I would need it to fulfill the GE requirements in the math track, so I took the class, my first year of school here. I got bored with it, naturally, and dropped it - but too late. Unwise of me. I got a UW. Not good for GPA. Or Grad School. Now that I am determined to get my GPA back up, I am sucking it up and retaking the class.

Thankfully, E is taking the class with me. Because of her, I don't have to worry about conjuring $100 out of nowhere right now. We did our homework in the game lounge of our dorm today. It felt like a social activity. Easy A right?

"Easy A" classes are the ones I do the worst in. Because they can't keep my interest. But, this semester, I will learn to work consistently even in classes I don't enjoy. Thankfully, there is only one.

Also very excited about the play this semester. Midsummer Night's Dream, by Shakespeare. Auditions are Wednesday. I hope I do alright. Never read any Shakespeare before, really, so I am very nervous. But it will be fun. I've sort of already secured myself a part in the campus movie for this semester, so there will be some acting, at least.

I came to the realization today that I am getting less and less dependant on relationships. Unlike past semesters, I'm really not looking for a boyfriend. I still notice cute guys in the hallway and am not above stopping to talk to them (I am still heterosexual, you know), but I don't have this "I need a boyfriend, I wonder if he'd like to be mine, maybe he's what I'm looking for" frame of mind. Maybe because I've already found what I was looking for? Maybe because my priorities have shifted? Either way, I think I will be cool with only talking to quasi-boyfriend in NY every other day or so. I will miss him, but I will still be able to function without. I am quite proud of myself in that department.

Also. Do any of you remember Jerk-Face? I only call him that to protect his name, I guess. I don't really have any bitter feelings toward him whatsoever. I will speak for myself - you'll need to ask Jared separately. I thought the whole event was pretty f'n funny. Pun intended. But it'd still be awkward to run into him again after the who confrontation we had. (Read "Faye Swears") Anyway, via this complicated network of BYUH bloggers of a certain ethnicity which I found through Judge, I discovered his blog! I kid you not.

Turns out, he is a pretty good blogger. Geeky, frequent, interesting, even. And all in excellent English. Unfortunately, he did not blog about the said confrontation like I had hoped he would. But, I am still glad that I've got to read the other side of the story. I did know him, sort-of, before the I-Tunes incident, but had no opinion of him. Post I-tunes, it was a slightly negative opinon, and now he's moved to being pretty darn cool. He's graduated and will move away come Saturday, so there will be no more awkward eye-contact avoidance.

It's just interesting to observe how I judge others. I wonder how many people I have disliked without concrete reason (or because someone else did), of whom, if I had read their blog, would have formed a completely different opinion? Just a thought. I will be more slow to judge in the future.

My Old Testament 2 class is one I am very glad to be taking now. I have a sense that I am going to learn alot from this class. Today, we discussed about Solomon and briefly read about his conversation with the Lord in his dream (1 Kings 3:5-14). The Lord asked Solomon "Ask what I shall give thee" and Solomon asked for "an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?"

While this can sort-of be applied to "Jerk-face-no-longer", what I wanted to write about was this: Bro. Muhlestein asked us to think about what we would ask for if we could have ONE thing from the Lord. Kind of like a Genie. Except you only get ONE wish. So it's serious stuff.

What we ask for should reveal a lot about ourselves and our inner desires. I can think of a ton of thinks I would love to be blessed with. But if we narrowed it down to one, the first thing I could think of was to ask that I would be a good parent.

Weird huh? I'm not even a parent yet!

But for some reason, that's my greatest desire. I think I am willing to give up pretty much any skill I've worked hard in acquiring or have been blessed with, if I could just have the set of skills needed to be a mother who raises up her children in the right way.

What made Solomon a great king (while it lasted), was that he wanted what the Lord wanted - and that's what he asked for. So he got it. I wonder if it's the right thing to ask for.

And you know what? If I want to be a good parent, I can ask for such a blessing and if I do my part, I will be blessed with the ability. Thankfully, we're not limited to just one blessing. Whatever we ask for will be granted us, as long as we have an eye single to the glory of God.

We've all heard it and read it in Sunday school. I'm only just beginning to grasp the true application and it blows me away. If I want to get a 4.0 this semester, and be a good actress for the school play, I can do it. I can be emphatic and compassionate and learn to love all men, whatever it is they've done to me, if I want to. All I need to do is work hard, and constantly seek divine help.

With God, nothing is impossible. I really believe it now. Someday, I hope to know it.