All I need to know about sex, I learned from...?

That certainly has been the topic of alot of my conversations these past couple of days. Not necessarily in a bad way either - so don't assume anything.

How willing is the average Asian or Mormon girl willing to talk about stuff like that? Am I exceptionally open? Too much so? You tell me.

Mom and Dad had always explained how babies came from eggs fertalized with sperm. They just never taught me how they got together in the first place. For the longest time, I thought girls got pregnant from literally sleeping with a guy. That somehow sperm amazingly found its way into the woman's body.

I remember in 8th grade, I was over at a friends house and there was a bizarre situation where my friend shared a room, and her bed, with a younger brother. I just kept very, very quiet.

I was misinformed in the 7th grade by my friend who claimed had seen semen that it was clear and you could see the tadpoles swimming about. loL! Oh my gosh.

When I was 14, my classmates (do you remember this, guys?) were passing around an erotic story (I went to an all girl's school, they thought it was funny but noticed that you felt funny after reading it). What does the word "cock" mean, they asked. I looked it up a dictionary. Hmmm. We didn't get most of the story at all. I thought it was pee that the girl in the story was swallowing. Ewww. Why was it white?!

A year before, we learned about the sacred power of procreation in Young Women's in church. I was lucky to have Sister How as the teacher and she is as frank as day. She explained intercourse clearly and scientifically to us. That's where I heard the word "masturbation" for the first time. So THAT'S why Mom told me it was wrong.

My mom would go bezerk when she caught me doing that as a kid. I never understood why. I didn't believe her when she told me it was wrong. (Ok, so there are many of you out there who don't believe that it is, but I do. It sure messes people up)

Anyway, we studied about genitals in science in the 9th Grade. A friend explained to me about guys having an errection when aroused. Ahhh... so THAT'S how it gets in. Around that time, Viagra has just come out too, so I got to read plenty about that from places like the Times magazine and so forth.

After that, I was curious, I wanted to know more, that's when I discovered the Internet and its millions of resources for that type of "knowledge". Honestly, that was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life. My view of sex is alot more perverse than I want it to be because I learned it from outside sources.

When my parents finally found out what was going on, they started explaining things to me. I believe it would've helped if they had continued to teach me about sex so I didn't find out for myself. But you've gotta cut them some slack. I'm their first child. They didn't know what to do.

In highschool, I was the one my friends turned to when they wanted to know about sex. In alot of ways, I still am looked up to as the guru. Strangely, it's not just for sex. They thought that I had learned it from my parents (I didn't want to tell them that sick old guys - older than my Dad - were teaching it to me first hand). I explained stuff to them like I thought my parents would've with me.

Because of my religious education, I have a better understanding of what sex is. Not just the motions, or what happens, or what you do, but why and when it's appropriate and how we should talk about it.

I like knowing now, that I can talk openly with my mom about sex. She has let me know that there's alot that she's willing to talk to me about if I would ask and it's very reassuring. We've had some good discussions. We don't talk about it in an erotic way, which is wonderful. We talk about it treating it as it should be: sacred.

I have to say, I have been very much of a hypocrite when it comes to being chaste and morally clean, but I'm trying hard not to be. Faith is dealing with Alcoholism, I am dealing with this.

If anything, I understand both the good and the bad sides to sex. First hand or otherwise. I really understand what an amazing thing it is. At the same time how it can be a tool leading to our destruction.

I love sex. I want it badly. But I think I can wait for just a while longer so that when I do share it with someone again (i.e. my husband), it will be special, I wouldn't have to ask myself why if I really love him, nor have to separate lust from love.

Intimacy is something I want to have with just one man.

When I do finally have sex, it will be beautiful, and amazing (the guy who marries me will be so dang lucky!) and it would be so right.