All confooooosed

Dad asked me today when my flight to HI was supposed to be. April 18th, I told him.

He told me to get my visa and the visa application for my stopover in Japan ready.


O-K. *long pause*


If this is his way of telling me that I'm still going, I don't know what to think. Not that I ever do, but my reaction to this news is almost as if it's unwelcome.

Why did it have to wait till I started planning to be here for at least another 3 months, getting a job lined up for me and getting completely involved in the planning of the Single Adult Convention at the beginning of May?

I'm also afraid to believe that he means it, as usual. It's so easy to pull it back again. Like Jared's analogy with Charlie Brown going to kick the ball. (I think that's what it was, I forget) What about Mom? I can't just desert her when she needs me here.

I've wanted so badly to go back to Hawaii and I would like to leave, but I'm not sure if I should. It wouldn't hurt me to stay a little longer... will it make a huge difference? I want to go to Brian's wedding and see Cori before she transfers to Provo, see all my friends again before they leave for the summer... at the same time, I've gotten so comfortable I almost don't want to leave home again.

Now comes the fork in the maze. WHERE IS MY MAP? Someone, anyone, tell me what I should do now!