Blogged thoughts of the day

Too tired to write a real post but still want to keep this updated frequently enough so here is a mess of thoughts I can think of right now which are relevant to today:

1) Su is leavning for the MTC in *gulp* 6 days. I hadn't ever talked to her that often, but now that I know I CAN'T talk to her whenever I want, I really feel the limitation. I hope it turns out that I will actually communicate with her more because there is a set schedule to it.

2) You can never have enough money, can you? What I want it for today: Swing camps and digital cameras. But you can't wish for those things when there are people you should be paying back. I've made a budget for myself this month. I can be saving money/ putting money aside to pay people back. So I will. But that means no SEAJam in Singapore in a month. And no digital camera - definitely no digital SLR - and Herrang (THE ultimate swing camp) is barely, barely within reach. In fact, if I were responsible, I wouldn't go. Though, the bulk of the cost is the plane ticket and not the camp, like I thought it would be. Blah. I'm a dancer wannabe. Not a dancer. Forget, Faye. Just forget.

3) Man, are flowers cheap here. And it's so much fun giving daisies to random people. Really. Try it sometime. I got a rose from some random Chinese person in HouHai once, while I was on a date there in 05. I thought she was trying to sell it. Man have I become jaded. Valentines day is coming up. I'm excited. Another excuse to give random people chocolate!!!

4) 12 hours of sleep before work on Monday makes Monday a happy day. Swing dancing makes Monday a happy day too but lots of sleep enhances everything.

5) Is it stupid that I am afraid to be mistaken for a lesbian? I remember Introspectre's posts moaning about her chopped off hair way back when and being self-conscious about being mistaken for a lesbian - and concerned that if she was that she got to be the femme one. Hah. I've had less fret time about my hair although it took me 2 weeks to actually start to like it. That's a long time for me. I almost always like new hair instantaneously. Well, my hair has been growing on me (literally and otherwise - and they might be related). The change was weird, but it wasn't THAT short so I can't moan about too much. My initial consolation was that it was kinda long so it would turn into a medium length haircut in a couple of months - AND that the Chinese mullet thing I got a year ago was way worse anyway. Now, I actually am enjoying the look. Partly by taking measures to emphasize my femininity and using makeup more and earrings etc when I can. I don't think I am doing what someone else who knew how to actually do anything with it could. But I don't hate it. So that's good. Maybe I'll even look back at pictures one day and say: hey, that was cute, and consider cutting my hair short again. One day. This is coming from a girl who would always rather wear a skirt if it were practical (hence the issues with loving the shorter hair - even though it is a feminine cut.) But I still stand by what I said about cutting my hair short so I won't be as attractive to guys and not find myself in a relationship soon. Don't even give me that. You and I both know that most guys prefer girls to have long hair. They may be attracted to a girl who has short hair, but the fact of the matter is, if they could choose, they prolly wouldn't mind her growing it out. Well, the kind of guys that I am attracted to anyway. Don't know much about the awesome punk rockers and other subculture peoples who thrive on being different.

One run on paragraph about my hair. Great. Can anyone spell VANITY? Anyway. I find myself being self conscious and mistaken for a lesbian. Because my hair is shorter now. And I am learning how to lead the Lindy Hop and in true Faye style, use that to make sure all the girls get someone to dance with. That meant today that I spent almost all the time dancing with girls instead of guys tonight. And then I gave flowers to all the girls. Really, I love girls, but for a relationship, I think I definitely prefer guys a whole lot more!!!

6) Ok enough of the girly and on to the geek. What can I do to unblock my blog in China? Anyone know? I googled that question and found lots of people talking about proxy servers. Which I have been looking into. But I would like it to just be unblocked, not to have to work around the block, you know. Does anyone know if changing hosting helps? I'll give it a trial run on another server and see, I guess. But any form of geek help would be appreciated.

Alright. I'm about to collapse. 12 hours of sleep one night and 5 and a half the next. How do you expect to be a well balanced individual that way, huh Faye?

Good night, y'all.