Saying something - anything.
More than a week of silence on my blog. Uh-oh. What is this world coming to?!
I apologize for not keeping up with my writing. Life has been busy, and timing has been bad for my extremely time consuming hobby. I know after such a long period of silence, this certainly isn't a blog worth waiting for (yes, I know you were all at the edge of your seats just waiting eagerly for me to post)
With only slightly over a week left before showdown, I am pretty certain that I am incapable of blogging about anything else. I have been making a habit of imposing my countdown on everyone. "NINE MORE DAYS!!!" (or should that be "nine days more"?) Everybody will be glad when it's all over.
As it gets closer, I can almost visualize the movement in my mind. This shift of the background to the forefront of my every thought. Nervous. Excited. Anxious. Giddy. Name any sort of emotion, and I have probably already experiened it at least once today. Elated, constipated...
I am worried that without the soft focus of the webcam, he will not find me attractive, more worried that I will not be able to find myself attracted to him. I am so afraid that I will worry about what my friends think of him. I hope that I will be so proud that I will want to show him off to everyone and their dog. But I can't predict what my mind will come up with then. I am afraid I will be too busy to make the best of that week. I am fretting about what to wear that week ALREADY! Seriously, I have better things to worry about. Many of the friends I have now have not seen me in a relationship, I worry that I will act differently and make them uncomfortable. And some crazy part of me is afraid of how differently others will see me after seeing me with a guy. I've fought hard to get out of "untouchable" mode. After every break up there is this period of desperately trying to let the world know it is ok to date you. I've gotten so used to this being mostly single thing, I'm having a hard time switching back. AAAaah.
While there are many things to worry about, I am mostly looking forward to it. Planning out scenes in my head. The usual girly day-dreamy mushy stuff. And I am enjoying it while I can.
I just love being so excited about something. Someone. I hope it lasts for a long, long time.
posted by Faye @ 3/01/2005 08:45:00 PM
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3/02/2005 02:46:00 AM
How exciting!
introspectre
Actually, I have been on the edge of my seat waiting for another post, but that's mostly because I'm really sick and slumped over. I actually laid my head down while waiting for the comments box to pull up, but that's neither here nor there.
What IS important is that you may have overlooked the most valuable commodity you have- your friends opinions, should you get doe eyed and delusional. (smiles)
Not that you would. Will you like him? You do already, sillybutt. Will they like him? That's for them to decide. And if they DON'T like him, their opinions could prove invaluable since they will see him in a different light than you will.
I think it will go smashingly, that is my fogheaded forecast. You know, I found my future husband online (grins slyly) so...I have faith in these things.
Have I mentioned yet he's been shopping for rings?
~contented sigh~
Seriously. Enjoy these 9 days. Plan every outfit if you want. It's all part of the giddy giddy fun of being a girl who is smitten.
Just please tell us what happens pronto! I'll be waiting with bells on.
Posted by
3/04/2005 02:07:00 AM
"more worried that I will not be able to find myself attracted to him."
Anonymous
With the physical distance, this "worry" can easily be fixed--you know what I mean?
However,if I were you, I would be more concerned if I found myself more attracted to him in real life then in the cyber space. What to do next? What follows will need more disciplined thinking. It's going to be hard when your brain is like a marshmellow in the heat...
Choose ye wisely where thou chilleth...
Hopefully Su and your friends can be your "third" eyes and your cooling agents!!
I'm hanging on to my seat.
YKW
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