A Whole Niue World

After barely 4 weeks of making a cool new friend and roommate, I had to say goodbye to Nisi today. She left for New Zealand and will be getting her diploma at USP instead. I hope she comes back here to complete her degree after that. I guess New Zealand was a lot more appealing than home. From what I hear, Niue is just too small an island to escape gossip.

For those of us who are ignorant as I was, this is where Niue is located:

Click on the map for more information on Niue.

What this means is: despite my belief that I would never have my own room unless my husband passed away before I did, this will be the third time that I have had a room of my own. I miss her already.

I am quite nervous about what the future entails. Remember how anxiety stricken I was to move into a new room, with a new roommate whom I knew would be Polynesian? I don't mean to be discriminating but the idea scared me because I was aware of some cultural differences others had difficulty with before. I was afraid that I would be uncomfortable with people using my things when I wasn't around, my roommate wanting to use my computer (MINE, I'm possessive about this thing) when I did... I had gotten used to having Jolley, wonderful Jolley, as a roommate, with minimal cultural differences, her own laptop and cellphone (i.e. no need to fight for time on the dorm phone) - and I came to see her as a very good friend. The transition from her to my temporary Samoan roommate came as a culture shock. I use the term shock loosely, because it wasn't unexpected, but it was a big change that took adjusting to. While Lina was a very, very nice girl, the change in my environment hadn't completely sunk into my system before I had to move out. And somehow, I was very glad to.

I knew from the very moment I met Nisi that I would love being her roommate. She was just cheery and friendly and it was easy to be comfortable around her. It wasn't the same as Jolley, of course, because we didn't hang out in the same social circle and just didn't have as much time to grow on each other, but it was a happy situation for me.

I found myself offering to let her and her friends use the computer, was more than happy to let them help themselves to my board games, and I was almost glad to see them comfortable enough to sit on my bed (I think Nisi was taking a nap on it today, while her friend was on hers, didn't bother me in the least, I was surprised). Nisi was always polite about it "Oh, did I remember to say 'Please'?" and I was more than happy to oblige. If I had anything resembling food storage in my room, I would probably have told them to help themselves whenever they wanted.

Why then was I intially worried about protecting my private space?

In our home, the only real privacy you ever got was in the bathroom. Other than that, there was virtually no door-knocking ever. Everything (except clothes, perhaps) was generally considered communal. I mean, I went through my parents' drawers all the time. Mom and Dad don't OWN anything! Everything they have is ours! Duh!

It wasn't that I had no sense of privacy whatsoever. It bothered me when people went through my papers. That, I considered personal. But things... I offered to let my sister use them anytime as long as she put them back.

I still don't completely understand my feelings on personal property, privacy and so forth, but while I was glad to share with my last roommate, the same fear of having to share more than I want to is creeping up on me.

It makes me feel selfish and I don't like it.

In any case, I am nervous about being alone in this room for the rest of the semester, but more afraid that I will be assigned with a new roommate who will be difficult to adjust to. I like to think that adapt pretty well in new situations and learn to get comfortable very quickly - and even learn to love it, but I'm afraid I might be proven wrong.

This dorm room is slightly larger than others, and already there have been friends of Nisi's who have expressed interest in moving in here. "What, Faye's going to get this big room all to herself? I should move in! This room is bigger!" Me, I'm apprehensive. I am already possesive of this room. "You can't just invite yourself into my room like that!" If someone were to ask though, I'd probably want to be the bigger person, say "oh yeah! I hate not having a roommate!" put on a big smile and try to mean it.

Undeniably, as much as I will get lonely from time to time, there is something very appealing into not having to share a room.

So here I am, sitting in my room - alone- blogging. Wondering if maybe it's too late for room transfers by now and what the appropriate period for mourning the loss of a roommate is before I start rearranging furniture and spreading out into her side of the room.

Nisi's friends said they'd still come and visit me. I hope they do come by to use me for Taboo or Guesstures every so often. I've really enjoyed our after midnight "parties". Here's a picture of some of us last night after Taboo and Guesstures.


One of these things is not like the other

At the same time, because I don't feel the same closeness to them, Nisi being the missing link, I'll probably be selfish and careful to always lock the door when I leave the room so that there will be no unwelcome visitors and strange people on my computer when I am not around. If I'm feeling generous, what I'll probably do would be to leave my door unlocked so they can come in here and play my board games or something but password-protect my computer instead. Ah, the selfishness of Faye. I will console myself into thinking that it's a right I'm entitled to.

After all is said and done, I still wish Nisi were here. This is how much I loved having her as a roommate - so much so that I'd rather still share a room with her than have a room to myself. I hope that BYU-H "jumper" she bought will keep her sufficiently warm in New Zealand and that won't return too flea-bitten.

Because of Nisi, I've been able to glean off this enriching multi-cultural housing experience at BYUH and have learned that friendship truly does cross cultural and racial barriers. Most importantly, she taught me an invaluable lesson about being brave enough to do the right thing. What great friends I have been blessed with.